Karkat Plz
by Bluejays-and-Faygo
Summary: Gamzee/Karkat AU:Humanstuck Contains cursing in the first chapter because it is impossible to write Karkat otherwise.
1. Chapter 1: Karkat Plz

Author's note: So the story behind this story is that a friend of mine wanted me to write her a GamKar fic. So I gave her a few chapters, and she told me she really liked it and I should upload here. This is one of my first fanfiction stories I've ever written so I'm very open to criticism and any grammatical mistakes that have been found after my spell check. IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm aware of one very unprofessional thing currently in this fic, and that is that Eridan's character is terribly wrong. There is a semireasonable explanation for this, but honestly, it was mostly an inside joke. I can explain it if there is enough demand for an explanation but it is a long story. All caps is used only when Karkat is extremely angry or frustrated, and used because it is reminiscent of his typing quirk.

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The alarm rang from the boy's alarm clock. He wasn't accustomed to its infernal ringing anymore. It had been months sence he had had to hear it.

"God. Fuck my life." He muttered, trying to slam the alarm off, but failing. "Why can I never fucking get this? It's like all alarm clocks are designed to make you solve a fucking puzzle just to get some goddamn peace and quiet!" He yelled. This boy was Karkat Vantas, and, as you can tell, he had quite a colorful vocabulary.

Karkat looked at the date on the blue calendar on his wall. "August 22. Fucking great. Just fucking great." This date had been marked, in his favorite grey sharpie, 'THE DAY I'VE GOT TO GO BACK TO HELL.' He went downstairs to make himself some toast. Unfortunately, the toaster was broken and he didn't have anything else he could eat for breakfast. "FUCK MY LIFE!" Karkat screamed at the top of his lungs. Usually his crabby dad would tell him off for yelling this early in the morning, but he had gone away on a business trip. He had left enough money for Karkat to survive and checked in every night, but this had virtually nothing to do with Karkat's attitude. It was just the way he was.

Karkat flipped open his cell phone to check the time. 7 AM on the dot, or at least he figured it was on the dot. It was a digital clock. "Better not be fucking late now. Shit, there had better be gas in the car. If this is what everyday of high school is gonna be like someone better just fucking kill me now." Karkat said. He talked to himself more than anyone else.

He started up his, thankfully gas filled, car and drove to his school. The car was old and beat up. It was something from 2003 but Karkat hadn't really cared about what it was he just needed something he could afford to get around in. It was grey and basic. Nothing special. The ride to school wasn't too long. The school was only a couple miles from his house. He parked and got out of his car when he was immediately greeted by a familiar face. With a very loud sigh Karkat said "What the fuck do you want? I'm not having a good day."

"Hey bro. Sorry to hear about your day. Want one of my motherfuckin muffins? They can change your life." The other boy said as he took a sip of red Faygo and offered Karkat a zip-lock bag of muffins. The boy was slim, seemed calm, and smelled of smoke. Not that that was unusual for him. Karkat was hungry, but didn't trust the muffins.

"No Gamzee. I don't want your fucking pot muffins." Karkat said. "Whoa man, how'd you figure out they were pot muffins?" Gamzee, the other boy, asked. "You must've read my mind." Karkat couldn't help but smirk just a bit to himself, but he quickly covered it up and said, "It was more like common fucking since."

"Well whatever floats your motherfuckin boat bro." Gamzee said. "I guess I'll see you after school. I'll probably spend lunch with my motherfuckin Faygo and muffins." Although he had always wanted to make a pot pot pie, he couldn't figure that one out so he always just made muffins. "Later my motherfuckin bro."

"Later Gamzee." Karkat said. He would never admit it, but Gamzee was probably one of the few people who he liked talking to.

Karkat walked to his locker to get out whatever he thought he would need for his first class. He heard a voice with a very stupid stutter behind his locker door. "Hey Kar. Howw terrible wwe have to go back to school again right? But I guess it's not all bad if I get to see you again."

"Eridan, it's called speech therapy, and I've told you time and time again I am not motherfucking gay." Karkat said.

"Wwell think of it this way Kar," Eridan said, "Spaghetti is straight too until it gets hot." He winked.

"You really need to fuck off and shut the hell up you know that? You also need to learn to speak fucking English." Karkat replied.

"I'll fuck off if you fuck off with me." Eridan said, invading karkat's personal space. The first bell rang. Eridan frowned. "It seems I'll just have to wwin you over some other time Kar. I'll see you later."

"You won't ever see me again if I have anything to say about it." Karkat said, and he walked to his first class.

School was boring for everyone. Karkat and his acquatintences didn't have it any better. The day past uneventfully until lunch.

"Hey Karkat!" A girl said to him. This girl had red shades, and was enjoying a red Popsicle with a plate filled with red jello, cherries, and an apple. "Whats up?"

"Hey Terezi. Just dealing with school bullshit again. Didn't get any breakfast this morning because my stupid fucking toaster broke." Karkat replied. He was glad she wore shades. Otherwise, Karkat probably couldn't ever look her in the eye. He wasn't really sure how he felt about her. Weather he wanted to be friends, rivals, or her boyfriend was something he could never really figure out. It was one of the things he talked to himself about a lot.

"Heheheh! Sounds like a fun day." Terezi said. "Wanna hang out after school? I don't have much going on."

"I don't know. I think Gamzee wanted to do something." Karkat said. He liked Terezi, but for whatever reason he really couldn't stand to disappoint Gamzee. It was like bringing him out of his normal bubble of happiness to have a clown punch him in the face and say 'fuck you!' while honking a horn.

"That's alright." Terezi said. "I could just play an MMO with Tavros or something. Have fun with Gamzee." The bell rang. "I'll see ya later Karkat!" Terezi said before finishing her plate of red foods. She had a red problem.

"Later Terezi." Karkat said. He really did want to hang out with her and get his feelings all in check one of these days, but it didn't look like that would be today. He was looking forward to his plans with Gamzee though. It wasn't much of plans, in fact Karkat noticed right at that moment "see you after school" was not an invitation to hang out, it was just a goodbye. _Wow. I'm fucking dumb. _Karkat thought to himself,_ but it's too late to say anything to Terezi now without being a dumbass. _The rest of the school day passed uneventfully except for the occasional class where Sollux would start laughing at nothing and fall out of his chair. He was given two different detentions.

Outside, Karkat went under the bleachers. The one place Gamzee always went to light up or eat muffins. It depended on what was on him. "Hey Gamzee." Karkat greeted.

"Yo Karkat, my motherfuckin bro!" Gamzee said as he pulled Karkat into a hug.

_...Why is my heart racing?_ Karkat thought to himself. It didn't really make much sense. Gamzee hugged everyone all the time. Karkat decided to forget about it and return the hug to his friend. "Wanna hang out?" Karkat asked Gamzee.

"Man I always got time for my motherfuckin best bro. Can go grab somethin to eat? All those pot muffins gave me a serious case of the munchies." Gamzee said.

Karkat thought it was extremly stupid to get hungry from eating, even though he understood why in this case. "Then don't eat so many fucking muffins." Karkat said in a tone a bit less pissy than usual.

Gamzee chuckled as he talked. "You know I need my motherfuckin muffin fix bro. Come on lets leave this motherfuckin prison."

"I'm with you on that one. Do you got a few bucks on you or do you need me to spot you?" Karkat asked

Gamzee looked like he had just made a realization. "Aww motherfuck man. Food cost money. I'm a bit short right now. I hate to ask you for that though. Maybe I shoulda saved money and bought a few less muffin 'ingredients'."

"It's cool man as long as its just this once. Don't get so fucking reliant on those muffins you starve to death alright? Because I mean it when I say just this once." Karkat said.

"Alright alright I motherfuckin feel you bro. It's cool." Gamzee said. Karkat would probably lend Gamzee as much money as he needed, regardless of what he said. Karkat did care about Gamzee's well being. He wasn't heartless just because he was pissy.

Gamzee and Karkat took Karkat's car to the drive through and took the food back to Karkat's. "If I'm already treating we might as well hang out at my house too I guess." Karkat had thought. They ate their food quickly and silently.

When they finished, Gamzee asked, "So bro, did your motherfukin day get any better?"

"Nope. School fucking sucks. High school is no different, but hanging out with you is pretty good. It's nice to just chill out, and your pretty good at that." Karkat said.

"Well thanks my mothefuckerin bro. Its nice to hang with you too." Gamzee said. This made Karkat feel happy. Too happy. "What is going on with me today?" Karkat thought to himself. It was at that second the lights went out in Karkat's house. "Bro you're remebering to pay that motherfuckin electric bill right?" Gamzee asked.

"Yeah. Well this is bullshit now I can't see shit." It had become darker outside and so their was not much light from outside either. Karkat Stumbled over to the window and saw that all the houses seemed to be having the same problem. "Looks like this whole street at least is having a fucking power-out!" Karkat said. It was really inconvenient.

"It's cool bro I got this motherfuckin lighter. You got any candles or anything?" Gamzee asked.

"Maybe. Can I borrow the lighter to go look for some?" Karkat asked.

"Well alright bro, but your gonna have to get at least close enough for me to see you so we don't end up with a motherfuckin burns or somethin." Gamzee said. The lighter did not give off much light, and Karkat had to get extremly close to see the lighter itself. So close his face and Gamzee's were almost touching. Karkat had no idea what he was doing, but by the time he realized what he had done it was over. He had kissed Gamzee Makara.

"Whoa bro I know ya bought me dinner and everything but I didn't expect that." Gamzee said, with an unfazed expression.

"I have no idea why the fuck I just did that I am so sor-" But Karkat was cut off by the sensation of Gamzee's lips upon his.

"It's cool bro just warn me next time." Gamzee said. Karkat did something Karkat almost never did. He smiled. He moved away from the light of the lighter to conceal his blush. "So like...can I still call you bro?"

"Whatever makes you happy Gamzee. Whatever makes you happy."


	2. Gamzers plz

Author's Note: Here is chapter 2. I finished this story a little while ago. It's not perfect, but I'd like to hear what you think about it, and any tips. There is definitely a lot of inside joke, OOC Eridan so if that bothers you this probably isn't the story for you, and I know and acknowledge that as unprofessional, but as I've said before this wasn't originally a story I was planning on sharing with more than one person.

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Chapter 2: Gamzers Plz

Karkat woke up the next day a bit happier than usual. He didn't yell, he didn't talk to himself, and he wasn't even pissed about having to go to school as long as he'd see Gamzee there. _It's really fucking weird to find out you're gay for your best friend one day with no warning._ Karkat thought to himself. _You wake up one day. BAM! Homoattack! "I'm sorry sir, but the injury was fatal. Say goodbye to your straight self. I'll give you some time."_ Karkat thought as if a doctor was talking. Before he knew it he was at school.

"Sup my bro!" Gamzee said, running up to Karkat with a hug. Karkat was paranoid someone would find out about them, but then he remembered Gamzee is always like this with everyone. However Karkat should've been more worried about himself, and how he was absent mindedly blushing faintly.

"Not much. Just going back to this Fuckery of a school. You?" Karkat said.

"Pretty much the same. You get that motherfuckin toaster fixed yet? I made you some pot free motherfukin muffins if that things still broke. It took a few tries to figure out how to make em without my special ingredient, but look man! They got motherfukin blueberries and everything!" Gamzee said, proud of himself.

Karkat was slightly amused by just how proud Gamzee was. "I haven't gotten that stupid fucking thing working yet. Thanks for the muffins man. I owe ya one." Karkat wanted to say that they were even for yesterday because he had paid for their dinner, but that didn't seem like the right thing to say. _people don't say that shit to their...boyfriends. Wow that isn't something I thought I would ever have._ Karkat thought.

"It's cool bro don't mention it. It's what motherfuckin special bros do for eachother right?" Gamzee said.

_"Special" bros? I guess that what he decided to call it._ Karkat went to his locker and classes, but this time without the hassling of Eridan, and hopefully he wouldn't see a high Sollux later on in them. It was yet again lunch time. Quite a social hour for everyone. Today Terezi did not come to sit with him, but Eridan did.

"Nice to see you, Kar." Eridan said.

"How very unpleasant to see you, Eridan." Karkat replied. He really didn't like Eridan. Mostly because it was just Karkat being hit on whenever they spoke.

"So, wwhat's up wwith you and Gam? Never heard him call anyone 'Special' bro before. Don't tell me you've choosen to date him over me. I like hard to get, but making me steal you away is a bit much." Eridan said.

_Oh fuck. _Karkat thought_ My life might be over. Just think of an excuse and calm down._ "Eridan stop grasping at fucking straws. I don't know why he said that, but it's probably just because I'm his bestfriend, and even if I were homosexual I think I would probably fuck a jar of barbed wire and salt before I dated you." Karkat retorted.

"Wwell I can make that happen if your really that into masochism." Eridan said with a sly smirk. The lunch bell rang out to signal the end of lunch.

"Well thanks for wasting what could have been a perfectly fucking fine lunch for me. Now how about you go into a coma until I'm done with school so I don't ever have to see you again?" Karkat said. If that could happen he would find a church and thank god every sunday for the rest of his life. The rest of his day went by relatively normal. The good news was today was friday. _You know it's kind of fucking stupid for them to start school on a Thursday, but it's not like I'm complaining._ Karkat thought. Karkat went to Gamzee's usual spot to see if he was free to hang out.

"Sup my special bro?" Gamzee said, as he wrapped his "special bro" into a sweet embrace, and joined their lips together under the solitude and secrecy of the underside of the bleachers. It made Karkat blush, it was all still so new to him, but Gamzee acted how he always did. Probably because of all the weed. "Lets hang out all motherfuckin weekend! It'll be so much motherfuckin fun." Gamzee said.

"Sure Gamzee, but no sleep overs." Karkat said. He didn't think they would have one, considering the last one anyone at school had had was in fifth grade, but wanted to make it clear to the oblivious Gamzee.

They got some fast food for dinner and went to Karkat's house. They liked going here better because it ensured complete privacy. "Hey Karkat? I motherfuckin love you man." Gamzee said at a random moment as they were watching a television show that neither was paying much attention to.

"I...I love you too...Gamzee." Karkat barely got out. It was hard for him to say. It might be a little early in the relationship to say he loved Gamzee, but he didn't think it was untrue.

"Man you wanna know somethin motherfuckin funny? I think I loved you for a long time. You always seemed so motherfuckin stressed, but I always felt I should be there for my motherfuckin bros as best I motherfuckin can. Soon after that, I really like motherfuckin chillin with you." Gamzee said. Honestly, Gamzee was so unreadable he couldn't say anything to surprise Karkat anymore. Even so, Karkat couldn't supress a stupid smile and blush after hearing that. Gamzee noticed and said, jokingly, "You wanna rethink that motherfuckin sleep over rule now?"

Karkat replied, with a chuckle "I don't think so Gamzee." Gamzers plz. Gamzee went home for the evening leaving Karkat some time alone... Which he would spend talking to himself. "I had no idea he liked me for that long. I wonder if everytime he saw me was like the day I first noticed I liked him. That must've sucked." Karkat said all this out-loud to his ceiling. "I wonder if it's really healthy to talk yourself this much. Maybe it just means I'm a dumbass." It was quickly becoming late, and Karkat decided to retire for the night. He was happy to get to see Gamzee so much lately. He put his phone on vibrate so it wouldn't disturb him, but soon after, as he slept, he received a text message...


	3. Terraze plz

Author's note: not really an important note this time. Chapter 3 I, personally, believe is one of the weaker chapter's in the story, but I liked it anyway. It addresses things that needed to be addressed. Something else I want to say here is quick thanks to Hakumi Shigatsu (hope I spelled it right.) I liked having a longer review, and being given feedback on my choices. I encourage all fans to do the same of course. Something I kind of wanted to explain that no one really asked for, but I feel like it's important. When I write Karkat, I try to think of the parts of his personality the fandom forgets. The gossipy, hopeless romantic who cares about his friends, and loved ones. This is why he's so NOT grumpy around Gamzee. He loves the idea of a perfect romance. Then there is the reason I write Eridan the way I do. Yes there is actually some reason to it. As a human, Eridan would have no reason to believe he was better than everyone else at least in a genetic sense so he wouldn't have much reason to want to kill everyone. So, when I write him as human, I magnify his other character traits. He is also gossipy. He is egotistic. He is obsessed with filling his quadrants, or finding love as it would be for humans. This is the Eridan I try to give.

That's all I have to say really. Sorry this chapter is a little shorter.

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Chapter 3: Terraze plz

Karkat woke up to a pleasant Saturday morning. He hadn't set an alarm for when to wake up, but the sunlight and soft chirping of birds woke him. He was feeling better than usual today. Love was very refreshing to Karkat. It took a lot of the little stresses off his back. It was 9 AM, but Karkat heard the doorbell. It was probably Gamzee coming to hang out. He took his phone and put it in his pocket as he went downstairs. He would have read the message as he walked, but he had really bad luck with stairs. He opened the door and let Gamzee in. They greeted each other, and Karkat flipped open his phone to read the text message.

"From: Terezi

Hey Karkat you wanna hang out on saturday? We haven't done anything in so long.

Yesterday 9:01 PM"

Karkat's face showed he was distraught. "Sup bro? Who texted you?" Gamzee asked.

"It was Terezi." Karkat said. "She texted me after I went to bed, and wanted to hang out today. It's not that I don't like hanging out with you, but I've already blew her off once and we haven't seen eachother lately." Karkat was very conflicted emotionally right now. He still wasn't sure about how he felt about Terezi, and now he was in a relationship with Gamzee. Karkat was loyal, but he didn't know how to feel about anything at this moment.

"Invite her over then and we can all motherfuckin hang together. I don't mind." Gamzee said _That doesn't sound like a good solution to me right now, but I don't think he'd like if I said why._ Karkat thought.

"Okay then." Karkat replied. He couldn't think of a way out of this. He texted Terezi to come over and hang out with them. Terezi didn't know Gamzee well, but she was an open person so they probably wouldn't hate eachother. She came over. They didn't have anything to do, but for some reason Gamzee really wanted to play Life.

"Aww snap bros, I'm about to motherfuckin retire! This home better have faygo and some medicinal marijuana." Gamzee said. Karkat wasn't sure if Gamzee knew he wasn't really going to a retirement home. "I'll be right back. Gotta take a bathroom break."

"Hey Karkat?" Terezi said. She was wearing her favorite red glasses, and had been admiring the red of Karkat's living room. "Can I ask you something?"

"Me? Uh, sure." Karkat said. He was a victim of hopeful, and at the same time destructive, wishing right now.

"Do you...like me? Like, like like me?" Terezi asked. Karkat had never liked the mulitple uses of like to describe feelings, but he let is slide this time.

"I, uh, I mean-that is to say-you see-I kind of-um...maybe. How do you feel about me?" Karkat asked. _I bet I sound like a fucking dumbass._

"Maybe a little." Terezi laughed after saying that. She had a hunch Karkat like her, but always waited for him to make the first move. "Wanna go out sometime?" Karkat didn't know what to do and it showed on his face. "What's wrong?" Terezi asked.

"What's wrong," Gamzee started, as they noticed him standing in the door way. "is that he is _**my**_ motherfuckin man." Gamzee said as he put his hands on Karkat's shoulders. He then went over to Terezi and snapped his fingers in a Z formation.

"Um...what?" Terezi had obviously not expected that. "Karkat you could've just told me that was what was going on you didn't have to reply 'maybe'."

_**FUCK MY LIFE! SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO FEEL! **_Karkat thought. Gamzee looked like he could kill both of them right then and their. Then go on a killing spree of many of their other acquaintences, but Gamzee would never do that. Especially if he was an alien or something.

Terezi saw the way Gamzee looked. "I'm gonna go let you guys sort this out...Later Karkat." Terezi left, leaving Gamzee looking a little less angry and much more sad.

_ I brought him out of his normal bubble of happiness and had a clown punch him in the face and say "Fuck you!" while honking a horn didn't I?_ Karkat thought. "Gamzee, look, I really do...love you, and I would've turned her down." Gamzee was looking at the floor, not sure how to feel. "Gamzee look at me." Karkat and Gamzee's eyes caught each other. Karkat's showed honesty and regret for his actions. "I love you more than I love anything else in the world." Their lips connected. Karkat tasted the familiar taste of smoke in Gamzee's breath, and the familiar loving sensation of Gamzee kissing him back.

Gamzee's face went back to his usual chill smile. "Alright Karkat, I can forgive you. Everyone in school knows you got them motherfuckin feels for Terezi, but I love you man, and I'm a fragile motherfucker. Please don't hurt me." Karkat felt terrible. He never thought Gamzee was that emotionally unstable. Usually, he would've been freaking out over the fact his feelings for Terezi had been known by everyone, but he didn't care right now.

"I promise not to hurt you again Gamzee, and if any fuckass hurts you I'll rip that fucker's throat out." Karkat said. They had another make up kiss, and stayed close for a long time.


End file.
